Love Marriage and Arranged Marriage – Advantages and Disadvantages

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I am an Indian and when we look into the Indian culture and tradition, its mostly arranged marriage that happens, but now things are changing, old customs are just remaining customs. In arranged marriages, usually the parents or some elderly person comes up with a proposal for marriage and then they go through the horoscopes, educational qualifications, physical, chemistry, biology, family backgrounds / history and all kinds of stuffs and then finally the acceptance from the boy and the girl. Acceptance from girl side was not of high priority in most cases earlier, but now things have started changing. Some are really forced to get married according to the wish of their parents or elders. In fact they have to sacrifice their life for the sake of keeping their parents happy.

love marriages arranged marriages

In love marriage, when a boy fall in love with a girl who matches his likes or a girl likes a boy and they becomes friend. The friendship may grow more closer and at one stage if they feel comfortable with each other, they may decide to become life partners. In most of the cases, all these happens without the knowledge of their parents. When the stage comes to get married or if a the girl or the boy is forced to get married to another person, these things come out. Some parents may take it positively and may agree to go ahead with the proposal have will end up with a ceremonial wedding. But in most of the cases, they lose the support from their parents and with the help of their friends, they are forced to go for a registered wedding and end up separating from their family.

Advantages of arranged marriage.

Its not always that arranged marriages are successful or love marriage are successful. We see that most of the arranged marriage are successful for some reasons. When its an arrange marriage, the parents do support the relationship and they try their best to keep the relationship live as it is their responsibility too. Arranged marriages are good, if you believe in astrology and horoscope. I have seen that some really grow good, life changes after getting married and some vise versa. In arranged marriage, the boy and girl will be from the same religion and caste, so they have the life style, food and culture. In arranged marriages, the girl is more protected as the parents care for  a girl who married according to their wish.

Disadvantages of Arranged Marriages

All of a sudden you start your life with a person with you have hardly spend any time. You don’t know the person or you may even not like the person if you have go married because your parents and elders decided your marriage. Most of the cases the girl is forced to sacrifice their likes and adjust to the reality. Some may just live their life it goes believing its their fate and their parents are happy, but some break up. Some start their love life after the wedding and really enjoy and are happy.

Advantages, Advantages of Love Marriage

Love marriage is a legal right for two individuals who care and love for each other to live together and go ahead with their life. In love marriage, you know each other well, you are not going to be with any stranger or you may not have much problems if you know about the person well before you decide to spend your life together. A love marriage can become un-successful, if you had a very short time time know each other and just decided to get married. If you are knowing each other well and you are sure that you can get along with each other without any problems then you can decide to get married. In short the advantage of going for a love marriage is that you are going to live your life with a person who you know well and you are sure that you can get along well.

Its not easy to go for a love marriage. You need to first fall in love with someone and that person should like you as well. It takes time to know each other and both of you should feel comfortable with each other. Decide to get married to a person who loves you more than you love that person. In many cases I have seen that one person is badly in love with the other person, but not vise versa. Never force somebody to love you and get married, you should give sufficient time to the other person whom you love to know you more and you should take sufficient time to learn your partner well before you both come to a decision to live together.

In my opinion, nobody can be sure that he or she will fall in love with a person and even if he or she falls in love with somebody, that person will fall in love in return. If you don’t fall in love or not get a right person, then you can think of arranged marriages. Even in arranged marriages you can know the person well before you decide to get married. You should make sure that your proposed partner likes you as well and is not agreeing for the wedding because of any pressure from her / his parents or any other reasons.

What’s your opinion? Should you go for a love marriage or a arranged marriage ?

Post Comments : 60

  • saisha

    As soon as you get married the count down begins you get to know the person for 2 years of your marriage but with this there’s a risk of loving or being a toy of your family.(with Arrange marriage you have no choice but to continue & with Love marriage its your choice to end up early before you get hurt ). Love marriage can stay longer as they could but the question does it make sense leaving together but not being happy???

  • babu

    Acc. to me arrange marriage is best becauz if u have any problem
    regarding ur marriage then ur parents help u in taking a right decision
    about ur marriage.

  • aman

    just do what u like do not look at others.

  • aman

    IN MY opinion love marriage will be better because in this life u will be aware about the person
    and that will make your life simple easy and happy……………………………………………

  • Rohit Ojha

    Thanks for give me more knowladge about this……………..

  • ms khan

    if u fall in love (realy love ),,,,,,,,,,love marriage is much batter
    nd
    if u don,t fall in love till today, u go for arrenge marriage nd start or live ur love life with ur wife

  • preeti

    i think trust is more important if u hv trust in ur patner then ur life will be heaven;be best frnds first nd than husband or wife ;if u r frns than it doesn’t matter than it is arrange or love jus feel comfortable and be compatible with each other……….
    hope 4 bright future guys…….

    • Sheena

      Taking a right decision at right time is very important. I have one friend who had a friend with whom she fallen in love but realized it after her marriage got fixed with other guy by her parents. When she confessed about this to her parents n siblings, they were dead against it because they were worried what would society think if the engagements breaks bcz the girl loves other guy. Her parents started blackmailin her saying they’ll commit suicide if she tries to break the engagement. Under this pressure she agreed to get married to the boy of her parents choice but she could not adjust with him as he tried to have sex with her on the first night of marriage. They don’t know each other properly, how can he do that? Is this the only purpose of arranged marriages? he Continued trying For the same thing agn n agn even after the girl said him dt she needed some time for that n she would first want to b his friend. He never cared her words. She couldn’t bear this and came out from that place n now she is with Her parents. Now her parents are
      repenting fr not listening her words..Now the boy whom she loved is ready to get married to her, but she is
      in a shock as her life is totally shattered. She is now not knowing which way to choose. She shoud start her life afresh or go to her lover ot her husband?

      Give your opinion on this..

      Xxxxx

      • sayali

        i think the same as it has also happened with 1 of my friend . i gave her the advice that she should take divorce from her earlier husband and start her life a fresh with her lover.

  • rina

    according to me love marriage is mch bettr than arrange marriage

  • Er_Pradeep Jain

    love marriage is best….. well enjoy ur life with ur gf no that other’s…

  • Anoop

    At the onset, I believe that the term ‘love marriage’ is a misnomer – is it that arranged marriages are devoid of love? Of course not! In fact, all marriages are an ‘arrangement’ between two people, with a promise to ‘love’… [Read more at – http://mindmattersindia.com/love-marriage-or-arranged-marriage/

  • Manish

    I am agree with that love marriage is more successful than arrange because in love we both know each other well and decide to marry. but there is big problems in doing such marry that our parents hardly allow us to do such marry. because in love we don’t see the cast we just see that she is better for me and i am better for her. but our society must help them who want to get marry in intercaste.

  • jagmeet

    I think arrange marriage is successfull

  • ampy

    i will agree for arrange marriage becoz my parents are dreamt to enjoy n attend my marriage . so i would not like 2 disappoint ma parents !!!!!!!!

  • pd

    arrange marriage is good forever….

  • Anne Doe

    I have read, that in an arranged marriage that now adays, the couple who are arranged see each before the wedding so they know wether or not they’re compatible 

    • priyanka

      i will agree for love marriage be’s in love marrige both the person knows to each other very well ad understand to each other all ad every decision////////

  • Manoj Namdev

    You are a good writer, i impress with your analysis, I am a married person, if i read this artical before , i may go for love marriage, but yes i am very much happy with my arrange marriage. 

  • Khizar Ali

    I think arrange marriage is successfull at this time.Because in our society flourt are increasing day by day.If we look upon or society so everybody  say i love somne girl or boy.but this is not a love this is the habit that’s why now a day relation break.Basically we don’t no what is the mean of love?       
         In my opinion arrange marriage is successfull.
        

    thankx
    Khizar

  • Tara

    i am agree with all the points mentioned above… I do believe that love marriages are good and successful because u gets familiar with that person who is going to become your life-partner before getting married. Moreover, the partners start understanding each-other need’s without being expressing it… arranged marriages are good just because  parents support is always there till the end.

    • Ranjeeth

      Ya right Tara, that’s what the author has mentioned

      • Sushma0250

        whether its love marriage or arranged marrige..it is good actually ..only when there is love between them finally..and sustaining it. but after loving, understanding and deciding to marry a person with good maturity..some parents force to marry with some others ..thats the worst thing.. ..life .some problms come naturally, if we are with our heart we can face them well..and live happily.

  • Afghanistan

    Following several decades of war in the country and serious viloence against womens, I do prefer love marriage. Islam also says that know your partner and go for success.. means LOVE MARRIAGE.ThanksKabul

  • Kateee

    I am only 15 and i know that i don’t know very much about marriage and such but i believe and always have believed that marriage should be a commitment you make with someone that you completely know, love and trust. it shouldn’t be something you are forced into(not saying that this is always the case), and if your parents or elders chose your life partner for you how are you going to be able to grow and find out who you are if you can’t find out what type of people you are compatible with.but yeah i think love marriage is a better choice….not saying that no one should ever have an arranged marriage…if you want to go for it

  • sudarshan

    In face in love vs arrange to the researcher in modern generation’s there where most capable in LOVE MARRIAGE with the friends ” marriage is a license of free sex”in view thats also right i also say to all of my friends who see at all LOVE MARRAGE is perfect for own happy life. ADVANTAGE OF LOVE MARRIAGE> both can immerse in own idea> hearty filling> depend in once they have been a capable for a future plan for a family of once> in arrange marriage there were a regional base relegation (cast) where in love there were be out of cat it a view of science the gen of different different gen growth a new which have a new idea thats gives a modern technology mind in arrange marriage thats have not created a new idea that been a cultural. thats not give a satisfied.love is a sentence to give full happy that’s arrange means a aggregate which have a many family like grandfather grandmother , dad mom , casein famile and mine its make a hang up thats’s give a satisfied for a human beings that’s i wanna say love have full of happy ..Ok i wanna suggest for all to have love first and marriage ok have enjoy its all OK all of my friends.

  • sudarshan

    i saw all the comment and i have finally chose in love or arrange marriagemarriage is a license given for free sex . life is not only to sex.i have told to all of whom read it thats

  • rahul

    hey let u know him …and take decision yourself then go to parents and ask ….can i have good in love or arrange…they will say love cum arrange marriage so….now u know how to select with family background and futrure life should be easy….go to arrange feel the life of comfort ….love marriage is should be parent’s permission …made it to be arranged

  • Rajesh kumar.N

    “love is a lovable and un defined feeling between loving person when no misunderstanding is arrive “so always arrange come love marriage is best

  • Rajesh kumar.N

    I feel your feelings according to me always”love is a lovable feeling between together”when no misunderstanding is happen so always arrange come love marriage is best

  • ana

    I think the love marriages are better

  • Dipankar

    Arrange marriage & love marriage is the purest bond god has made for a boy and a girl. According to my knowledge in most cases arrange marriage are successfull due to the parents support.. But we should not forget that after marriage we have to live not our parents.. They have to know with whom or with what we are comfort of.According to love marriage a boy and a girl choose their partner they sent their time knowing each other with evry point.. After they are satisfied that as he or she can take their decision..Now answer comes arrange or love.. i would go for love strongly.

  • saqib

    arrange marriage is better then love marriage because his parents are happy & not a bad decision in our daughter & all the family are happy and slowley aperson loves his wife & love marrige one is succesfulley because his parents are not happy .and after some time his feelings & mind is not match to each other and then deverse.please arranged merriage is very useful to all family then love marriage

  • akhil

    the love marriages are really and wonderfully good in our life

  • aisha

    now i read all of view than i reach this decision ,arrange marrige is so much suitable 4 u because when u meet a new person then u have a lot of charm to meet him i think excitment on the other side when u love marriage a lot of question in your life if this person leave me etc and also parents are worry about u bcz they know the end of this divorce .but in arrange all the blame on parents so they find the perposal very carefully .the result is taht hip hip hurrah in arrange marrige some difficulties but i think its suitable

  • Mrigrajsingh

    i agree with the above, if any person prefers for get married without parents permission, if any person get married through arranged without understanding their life partner they may also suffer . my opinionis first love and understand and a person. after that get marry him/his with parents permission and live a happy life.Love is life, life is love .thanksMrigrajsingh Chauhan

  • SHAMILI

    I AGREE WITH THE ABOVE. IF ANY PERSON PREFERS OR GET MARRIED WITHOUT PARENTS PERMISSION THEY MIGHT SUFFER IN THIER LIFE. IF ANY PERSON GET MARRIED THROUGH ARRANGED WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING THEIR LIFEPARTNER THEY MAY ALSO SUFFER. MY OPINION IS FIRST LOVE AND UNDERSTAND A PERSON. AFTER THAT GET MARRY HIM/HIS WITH PARENTS PERMISSION AND LIVE A HAPPY LIFE.

  • hadeel

    hi every onein my opinion in love marrege batter because they’r know each other well ,they ‘r can have easy way to communicat they live there life withe persone they love . one the other hand,they shoud cear about there parents suggectionaactualy most importants things in marrige in love or arrange marrigeis theye should respect & trust each other

  • gowri

    Hie , I am an other friend of this heroine in the topic “To mention, Many missing facts of the case , The guy has given her Immense confidence , what may happen , he will do something before her engagement to marry her with his parents concent.. Through the process of a tension prevainig days , The girl is just getting too upset and forgetfull towards all the words of trust given by him , getting too restless and pulling up issues him him when ever they talk about marriage. What is the guy trying ? It is already high time that all of us – Her friends feel , and whats the point that he’z still being lathargic ? Do any of you get any clue ? He has no girl friends other than her in his life , No friends so close as well , Treats her like a kid , Very pleasing , but offlate he seems too busy to discuss and plan how their way of life shoul move on . We have all means of contacting his parents , his home but some how she doent want doing all this without her guys concent. He is still demanding some 3 months time. The pressure and the clasping pace of looking for a guy at her home is super High. He doent seem to be a cheater of any kind . He’s super serious as well. Both of them have a good background , Financially sound , Amazing characters , Very willing to give up for one others happiness , Very loving , Good to be a life partner s, He’s Very responsible , Genuine , But a closed nature , Fearfull But we 5 friends of this princess vouch that there can be No scratches in their relationship beyod any ups or downs. None can brainwash them insrigating them against each other. What should we suggest for the queen out in the topic?

  • swetha

    I just read all your views. In my friends case , it so happened that she found a real understanding comfortable jovial friend and that blossomed to love , both mutually felt the love and things moved smooth for 6 months. College days were very memorable for them in sense of friends pairing up them , teasings and fun. As days passed , The guy turned being reserved once committed into the relationship and hesitated even sharing the joy of finding a girl friend to even his best soul mates / friends and began to restrict the girl in terms of moving / talking with other guys , concealing their love from all her friends … The girl is a bubly happy go lucky over enthusiastic of a kind and casually kept spreading over her personal secret to all her friends. Gradually she started getting frustrated fighting with him and arguing all positivities of trusting friends and the discussion just grew and grew , the girl decided to give up and now she is in touch with no single friend and feels solitered. The guy is into supporting his dads business and found time hardly to even sms her even once a while in day but sure doesnt forget to call up to wish her a good nit sharing a few of his days instances – Having no time for even private topics. The girl started getting too low , but he was too smart enough to convince her in no time explaining is real genuine situations. They got a chance to be together and made out as well , The guy is still being so sweet but has no time for her , nor introduces her to any one. He seems too emotional after the instance never like before , very sentiments filled , but doesnt understand her feeling of lonliness and also refuses to meet her out at any public place and feels uncomfortable about the fear of society if they would get cought by any known person . Beyond many misunderstandings , they are still in a immense bonding trusting eachother and my friend is really understanding and very spontaneous in expressing her emotions . He is a complete intravort. This is the stage where her parents are hunting a nice guy for her , and she’s so helpless literally torturing him to tell to his parents so thet she could act accordingly. Her family is soooo damn orthodoxed and caste preffering. Both are Hindu’s but of diff caste. The guy needs some more time in settling into his dads business and to gain his parents trust and confidence. The girl is still waiting for him to take her with him by any ossible means and face any shit. She’s working drawing about 12k . Both ar MBA’s but he’s dad dependent. What should she currently decide ?

  • Aditya

    you all are right but my point of view is arrange marriage is better than love marriage. because the one person don’t understand another person nd immediately they want for sex like a village farmer they only want sex and produce his cricket teams.

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  • Amirali

    What irritates me is that parents will only support a marriage if it is arranged by their choice, and not if the girl dares to like someone. A love marriage doesn’t necessarily have to be a conflict with the parents; or a big fight – overprotective parents can make it an emotional issue. Whatever happened to dialogue and mutual trust?

  • Md. Ariful Islam

    I think arrage marriage is better than love marriage.

  • Bibek

    In my thinking love marriage or arrange marriage is not the thing. We can run the life in both the conditions but the main thing is how you two are taking each other? Whether there is understanding between you and your partner? If there is understanding then certainly whether it is love or arranged it will be successful. But you have belief and trust in you and your partner then only your marriage will be successful.

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  • Lafaz

    Interesting read! Love marriage or arranged, it takes two people really responsible honest and committed to succeed. Whether it’s a love marriage or arranged, it needs a lot of effort to work a marriage. Getting married is a complete package. One just doesn’t marry the person as such but his habits, his family, his emotional problems, his background, his experiences, his career and lot of other things that are required to be dealt with. It becomes difficult to predict the ideal sort of marriage. So ultimately it is up to the individual to decide whether he wants to have a love or an arranged marriage after all it is a question of being happy in love.

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  • Lechu

    My views regarding marriage is totally different. After reading the above article, the writer left a big question mark in front of me, what is my choice?. Whenever i got a chance to talk about marriage, i always opened the talk with a comment ” marriage is a license given for free sex” but now it has lost its own charm since everything is available at your choice.

    Live-in-relation or co-habitation is gaining more importance in the present day world. The above mentioned affair is suitable for those who doesnt want to sacrifice their career for their marriage. Whatever be the name called for the affair, its success depends on your degree of sacrifice or compromise you do for your partner. (Mostly it has to be done by her only)

    Earlier men opted women for their beauty but now it is changed as well as the basic concept is how far the woman is financially independent. No matter she is pretty or handicapped.

    All the arranged marriages or love marriages are not successful or damaged. How far you can support your man mentally and physically when he faces the hardtimes is the suceess deciding factor.

    Love is blind as well as the lovers until they get married but they get good vision after their marriage. Then they realise that the lover husband was not his choice and finally end up in divorce. The same thing happens in arranged marriages also. You can go for an arranged marriage since you dont have a lover of your choice and let the parents or elders to decide. Until the day of your marriage u will not have a person of your choice but after few days or months you realise that the parental choice was not your choice, and finally end up in divorce or parallel relationship.

    My opinion about marriage is that whether arranged or love, marry only if you got the same vibes. That will find solution for all your problems that would come up on your married life. That vibe will make your partner into a good friend of yours. If you have a good friend in life to share matters of privacy, then your life will be the heaven.

    All the best wishes to kishore to bring up this article to the readers.

  • Kishore

    Live in Relation is becoming popular these days and Indian law has endorsed the living together as valid and the hereditary right goes to the children of the mother who has been living with the man and not the married first wife?

  • asif

    dear actually arrange marriage is most benificial b/c she will think every problem and manage togather.but iam just joking (arrange marriage is murder and love marraige is sucide)

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